Groundbreaking
by Cailleachna
Summary: What happens between a kiss and a decision? Short JAM fic, set between "Casino Night" and the flashback in "Gay Witch Hunt". Rated M to be safe, but let me know if it ought to be a T. In progress, hence the sudden jump to the end. Please R&R if you wish!


**Disclaimer:** The usual; I own nothing contained within, I'm just playing with it. Credit to Nikki (/scripts/theoffice) for a couple of sentences of the text in italics at beginning and end, taken from her excellent transcripts. Any errors are of course mine. Also, LittleWords' excellent fic "Six Weeks" gave me the idea - what might have happened between those two scenes?

-x-x-x-

_The office is almost dark. Pam leans against Jim's desk, talking on the phone._

"_About ten minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don't know, Mom. He's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am."_

_Behind her, Jim walks in, head down. She catches sight of him. "Um, I have to go." He sees her, and starts to walk towards her. "I will." She puts the phone down. "Listen, Jim…"_

_He puts his arms around her and presses his lips to hers. She hesitates for a brief moment, and then starts to kiss him back. Her hands make their way to the back of his head. She starts to pull away; Jim kisses her one more time._

_Finally she separates herself from him, and he takes a small step back. They look at each other in silence._

-x-x-x-

It was one of those moments that have the potential to last forever, and Pam felt as though the ground was starting to give way beneath her. It wasn't crumbling yet, the solid foundation of her life that she'd spent the last nine years working on, but she could feel it starting to crack. Every lie she'd ever told herself on Roy's behalf, every excuse she'd ever made for him – because of course, he'd never apologize, just half-smile at her, or tickle her, or wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be OK – was starting to surface and for the first time she had no way of pushing them back down. No more _he's a good man, really_. No more _relationships are hard work; he deserves another chance_. And definitely no more _there's no one else who would treat me better_. Not now; not when the proof to the contrary was standing in front of her, his breathing ever so slightly ragged, waiting to see what she would do next.

She wondered whether she should try feigning anger with him. It had nearly worked outside; she'd been thinking on her feet, but telling him he'd misinterpreted things had kept the line in the sand clear. They were just friends, she'd never done anything to encourage him, this was his fault – though she'd offered to claim the responsibility, knowing that he wouldn't accept. Now he'd broken her hastily constructed barrier, just walked in here and smashed right through it. In fact, if she thought about it, she really _was_ angry with him. How dare he upset the apple cart like this? What did he want, a confession? Was he going to ask her to break up with Roy? He didn't have the right.

"Pam, if you…"

His voice broke her maddeningly tentative grip on rationality, and she shook her head.

"Just don't say anything else," she murmured, and threw her arms around his neck, reaching for him hungrily. Their lips met again, and it wasn't a gentle kiss like the one he'd initiated, but bruising and passionate, making her feel like she'd just leapt over a cliff. For a second he didn't respond, but then she felt his hands on the back of her dress, climbing higher until his fingers brushed the bare skin of her shoulders. He pulled her closer to him, holding her tight as if he thought she might fall. Her tongue met his, and a sound was torn from her that she could only describe as a growl. She started to slide her hands underneath his sweater, pulling his shirt from the waistband of his trousers with an urgency that terrified her so much she didn't dare stop. This was something that needed to be fed; if she didn't give in, she would regret it for the rest of her life.

He pulled back suddenly and she almost cried out at the sudden withdrawal of his touch, his skin, his scent.

"Pam, I'm getting some mixed signals here…" He gave her that quirky smile, slightly confused but not unhappy, the one that made her melt. "If this is going the way it seems to be – I mean, is this really the place...?"

She shook her head slightly and took a firm hold of his hand, pulling him towards the reception desk. Leaning over, she snatched something from beside her computer, and then walked out into the corridor. Jim followed, glancing around to see if anyone else was upstairs.

They reached a familiar door, and Pam unlocked it with the key she'd taken from her desk.

"The stationery room? Are you kidding me?" He pulled back and stared at her for a moment. "Beesly, have you lost it? I didn't think sensible, organized receptionists had ideas like this."

"Sensible, organized Pam is on her break right now," she replied, glancing up at him and smiling wickedly. "Besides, this is where I always fantasized about us being."

"You – you fantasized about…us? About me?" Her smile widened at the expression on his face, and she nodded.

"Most days, especially when you were talking to clients," she said. "I could hear you saying 'mm-hmm, yes, yes' down the phone a lot, and I could imagine you whispering it in my ear…"

She broke off as he reached past her and opened the door, pushing her through it and up against the nearest shelf. He kicked the door shut behind them and slid his hands into her hair, bringing his mouth down on hers again as though someone had just told him he had an hour left to live.

-x-x-x-

_She leans over the desk and replaces the key, then stands and straightens the hem of her dress. She can feel him watching her, and it makes her tingle. Her head is full of thoughts now, conflicting ones. She isn't sure what to say, so she kisses him again. It's soft this time, and she makes it last, but eventually they break apart and pause. Her hands make their way into Jim's, and he smiles._

"_You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."_

"_Me too." She pauses for a second as her mind starts to clear, and something unpleasantly like panic starts to edge in. "I think we're just drunk."_

_He looks at her oddly. "No, I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?"_

"_No." He leans towards her for another kiss, but she doesn't move. "Jim." The tone of her voice freezes him, and he realises what she isn't saying._

"_You're really gonna marry him?"_

_There's a silence, one in which she could change her whole world, if she just had the courage. Then she nods._

_"OK__," he says in a whisper._

_He looks down, and slowly, his hands slip away from hers._


End file.
